On Doubt: Another True Thomas Moment

Thank you all so much for the response to my last post, the emails and feedback were very reassuring. To get to where I want to go today, I need to give a little background information. For those of you who do not know, I was oppressed by a spirit of doubt for several years until the Lord very graciously (1) revealed the nature of my affliction, and (2) performed a miracle of deliverance on me beyond what I could possibly express here. To be perfectly honest, I was somewhat apprehensive about putting this out there, creating a permanent record in the public sphere because of the potential skepticism, religious implications, and possibly even financial and political implications. But, it is what it is, and I hope this disclosure gives additional insight into who I am and context to this blog.

Since that time, God has opened up a whole host of truths to me which I would have had a very difficult time accepting, or rejected outright. One, revelation about Genesis 1:1, has been the subject of several posts, and which I will develop more in later posts. As I said, your comments and emails following the last post were a tremendous blessing to me. Thank you so much. But what I want to share is what, I believe, was the Lord's blessing.

First, the scripture to make it official. John 20:25 "...But he [Thomas] said to them, 'Unless I see in His hands the imprint of the nails...I will not believe.' ... 27 Then He [Jesus] said to Thomas, 'Reach here with your finger, and see My hands...and do not be unbelieving, but believing."

It may seem obvious that my Thomas moment would have come when the Lord removed the veil of doubt from me, but that was just my first Thomas moment. Last weekend I came across a teaching by Joseph Prince that I had Tivoed and watched several months ago about the name Yahweh and the meaning of the Hebrew letters that spell Yahweh (YHWH). In short, he showed how in Hebrew the first letter of the four words making up inscription (or accusation) above the cross on which Jesus hung would have spelled YHWH. In Hebrew it would have read, "Yeshua (Jesus) HaNazarei (the Nazarene/of Nazareth) Vemelek (the King) HaYehudim (of the Jews)." Forgive my transliteration.

For those of you familiar with this blog, you will recall that the YOD or "Y" is pictured in the ancient Hebrew as the hand or arm and the VAV or "V or W" is pictured as a nail or tent peg. The HEY or "H" has a symbolic meaning of God's grace. Joseph Prince's teaching, then, concluded that God's grace came by the nail in the hand.

I must say, I could not agree more. Also, this was in the context of a broader teaching, so I do not at all question this picture not really being developed further. I spent a fair amount of time meditating on that, researching the ancient Hebrew and praying for revelation. I knew there was something more I was missing, yet I simply could not find it.

Nevertheless, I was and have been, for several months now, stirred that I was missing something specifically for me, but I was stuck. Recall that there were several instances in the New Testament where either Jesus or Paul would say essentially, "there is so much more I want to show you, but if you can't even get this, how can I?" Well, I had that very sensation only in reverse. I felt like God was having one of those moments with me, until this week.

It was another true Thomas moment that struck me while crossing the street of all things. Here it is: YHWY, YOD (Y) the hand, meaning my hand or works, HEY (H) a man with outstretched arms, meaning God's grace, VAV (V or W) the nail, and HEY (H) same man with outstretched arms, meaning grace. There it was, so obvious. A man standing with outstretched arms, they seemed to be held out right in front of me, showing me the HAND and the NAIL or nail hole, and saying, "'Reach here with your finger and see MY HANDS...and do not be unbelieving, but be believing,' this is My gift of GRACE."

Here is the visual (remember, Hebrew is read right to left):

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A Little Context